I’ve recently heard a lot about banning books that make white people uncomfortable, and I think I’m beginning to see how that might make sense. In fact, I recently read the U.S. Constitution and reading it made me really uncomfortable. I think we ought to make it illegal for people to read the Constitution.

First, there’s that part where the “Founding Fathers” agreed to let the slave trade continue for 20 years after the ratification of the Constitution. I find it very distressing to think that our country agreed that it was ever okay to buy and sell human beings, so that’s one reason the Constitution should be banned.

Then there’s the part where the northern states agreed the southern states could count their slaves in their census, but one slave only counted as 3/5 of a white. I’m very uncomfortable with the idea that our “Founding Fathers” thought that some human beings were worth only a fraction of the worth of other human beings. I don’t think anybody should have to read such horrible stuff.

Oh, and what about that 13th Amendment, which bans slavery? Why do we have to be reminded that people in this country had to be told they can’t own other human beings? No one can do that now, so let’s not let people read about the law that had to be written to abolish slavery. It’s just going to make them uncomfortable.

I have a hunch most of the people who want to ban books have never studied the Constitution, but, for everyone else, I think it would be best if reading the Constitution was banned.